Cancer — ‘Can See’? Yes, I Can!

Cancer seems to be everywhere. And though there aren’t many things I can, in good conscience, say I truly HATE, I truly do HATE cancer. It causes fear. Pain. Death. It’s a thief — ransacking lives. Robbing people of time. Stealing loved ones away too soon.

The other day I was writing to a friend. Her father has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and is preparing for extensive and painful surgery. As I typed my message to her, for some reason — when I tried to write the word ‘cancer’ — my computer autocorrected and wrote instead ‘can see.’

CAN SEE??? I was struck and immediately thought, “No, I CAN’T SEE… I can’t see why cancer has to be so prevalent. I can’t see why so many good people have to leave so soon. I can’t see why loved ones must be left behind to mourn in anguish. I CAN’T SEE!”

No, I can’t see. I can’t see why more than half a dozen family members or close friends of mine are currently battling cancer. I pray for them. I hope for them. I want for them more time. Less pain. More appetite. Less fear. More hair…

And for those closest to the ones battling cancer, I can’t see how they endure — watching their loved ones suffer. Enduring, alongside their sick spouse, sleepless nights. Cries of agony. Whispers of dreams not yet realized. Hopeful prognoses turned to “There’s nothing more we can do…” No, I can’t see.

‘CAN SEE.’ I scoffed. Stupid autocorrect. C.A.N.C.E.R.I typed more slowly. Methodically. And finally appearing correctly, I moved on in my message…

But the real message — HIS MESSAGE — is becoming clear to me. And though I’ll probably need to be reminded again (I can be a very slow and stubborn learner!), the “Take Home” from this is just that — I.CAN’T.SEE. Not yet. I can’t see any meaning in cancer. I can’t see any meaning in pain. I can’t see any meaning in loss. Because… I can’t see.

“For now (I) see through a glass, darkly…” (I Cor. 13:12a)

I CAN’T SEE… No, of course not. My ‘fleshly’ eyes only want to see that which is pleasant. I close them to things that are not. I want things my way. I’m a selfish girl, after all. I forget that this world is not as it was intended. That selfishness such as mine (No better. No worse.) was what tainted it long ago. What stains it still.

Cancer, too — an ugly blemish upon an imperfect, sin-scarred world. Not what God intended… No. But thankfully, through Christ, what He has indeed redeemed. I say it again, with thankfulness, and the blinders of hate (even toward cancer) begin to fall away: GOD, THROUGH CHRIST, HAS REDEEMED THE WORLD! CANCER DOESN’T GET THE LAST WORD. PAIN AND DEATH DON’T EITHER. AGONY AND LOSS AREN’T PURPOSELESS. THERE IS BEAUTY IN BROKENNESS… PURPOSE EVEN IN PAIN.

Ah, yes — though there is much I indeed cannot see or fully understand just yet — perhaps, through His lens of grace and enabling power, I CAN SEE some things. Maybe I can even see purpose in cancer — if such is, for some, the portal through which one must pass to enter his or her eternal Home. And there, where pain and sickness are no more, one can finally see “face to face” (I Cor. 13:12b).

And even on this side of the veil, the light of His countenance shines through — offering hope and lighting the way for all who seek Him, that we each might see to face any darkness. Even the darkest night of one’s soul. Yes, even cancer.

“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known” (I Cor. 13:12).