A ‘Dream’ Come True

Sixteen years ago, a Dream was born. He’d been thought of, prayed for, and yes — dreamed of for a lifetime. All I EVER wanted as a little girl was to, one day, be a momma. That little girl grew up, got married, finished college… and the dream for a child only grew over the span of time.

But things don’t always happen like we think they will. Sometimes one must even face the “death” of a dream. But laying a life-long dream to rest isn’t easy. When I was told by doctors that, void a miracle, I would probably never conceive and carry a child, my heart was broken. My dream was shattered. Desperate, this young woman who longed to be a mommy, after shaking her fists for a time, fell to her knees before her heavenly Daddy and cried out to Him…

“Please, Lord… I want Your will, but honestly, I want a baby more. Help me to want what You want. Right now, I’m not willing to let this dream go. Please help me become willing to submit to your will, whatever that is…”

Over time, my clenched fists became open palms — up and open before God. This was nothing short of a miracle. I had come to a place where I could truthfully say that, though I still longed to be a mother, I wanted what God had planned even more. He had, over the years (from 1992-1998), taught me the truth found in Ps. 37:4 — “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the [dreams] of your heart.”

Where I’d once thought this meant that if I prayed and prayed long and hard enough to God for something, He would give it to me, I came to understand a greater depth of truth in these words. It’s not about “Gimme… Gimme, God” sorts of prayers. But instead, it’s about an abiding relationship with one’s heavenly Father where — through seeking His heart — one comes to desire that which He desires. It’s about Him planting His “dream seeds” in one’s heart and helping them grow so that he or she only truly wants that which is best according to His perfect plan (Jer. 29:11).

Over time, the doctor’s “No” became God’s “Yes” — as I heard Him speak time and time again — confirming that I would be a momma… one day. In His way.

Yes, our son Ian — whose full name (Dorian Samuel) means “Gracious Gift of God for whom I prayed” — was indeed carried by me… though perhaps not for nine months in my womb. No, he was carried for over six years in my heart. And though I can’t possibly “carry him” now (He’s much too big!), I will carry him in my heart for a lifetime!

He’s our first born. A young man of integrity. Faith. Courage. Determination. Commitment.

Yes, he’s a ‘Dream’ come true — born in my heart long ago and carried in it forever.

Happy 16th birthday, Sweet Baby Boy! Momma loves you (Daddy, too!) with ALL her heart!